Radio disc jockey Bob Rivers wrote a hit parody song, The Twelve Pains of Christmas. Well thanks to the implementation of ICD-10, we can now assign codes to all that may land us or someone we know in ER this December.

SHOPPING AND WRAPPING GIFTS

Y92.513: Shop (commercial) as the place of occurrence of the external cause

Exhibit A: The YouTube posts from Black Friday 2015. Enough said. Be careful. It’s dangerous between the kiosks.

W45.1: Paper entering through skin

Wrapping presents can be a slice-and-dice proposition and that is just what happens to your hands and fingers. Wrapping paper for which you paid $10 today (and which will be 75 percent off December 26th) coul cut you like a Ginsu knife. Before long, you’re taping your fingers as much as the wrapping paper.

W51.XXXA: Accidental striking against or bumped into by another person, initial encounter

Hey, there are only so many great deals. And if you are like us shopping on December 23, it’s every man for himself.

R42: Dizziness and Giddiness

Waiting for the local mall Santa, where lines snake back to Timbuktu, could cause both frazzled parents and sugar-loaded children to lose their equilibrium.

Y93.D: Contact with scissors; Activities involving arts and handcrafts

Wrapping presents is an art form. There are professional wrappers at department stores. For the rest of you DIYers, there is the battle of the large rolls of wrapping paper, ribbon and bows.

Y93.C1: Activity; computer keyboarding

After surviving Black Friday, your fingers and wrist live for Cyber Monday…and Tuesday…and Wednesday. Did we mention you have to work too?

Check back with us next week for codes relating to office parties gone wrong, as well as to Christmas around the house.

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